June 2012
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I’ve been pretty depressed lately, to be straightforward. I’ve felt static, insecure…just generally down on myself over a lot of things. And it kind of hit me today that I’m not getting any younger and I can keep writhing in this pit of self-loathing and do nothing, or I can live well. I’ve never felt like I deserved to live well. It’s never quite clicked with...
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Pretty much all I can think about lately is fucking, if you haven’t noticed.
I don’t understand myself sometimes.
Because all I want to do lately is fuck. All I crave is emptiness. I don’t want to be loved, really. I don’t want intimacy. Closeness. The concept is completely frightening to me, honestly. Too dangerous. Uncomfortable as hell.
I just want violent, carnal,...
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